Unclog My Arteries, Oh Lord

I am going to skip over the fact that it has been too long since my last post. Instead of dwelling of my inability to keep up on this blog and because you all are graciously loving me through it I am going to get right to it... 


I was looking through the good ol' files today and came across this reflection Dad did back in 2000. I read it over several times and a big smile formed across my face because just this morning God was having a conversation with me about my heart. Only to read later in my Dad's reflection that he is thinking about it too.


I don't know about you but for me, I tend to get to mass with about two minutes to spare. Life takes over. Today I "by accident" got to the chapel early. At first I thought, oh great, maybe I can squeeze one last errand in before it begins. But no, I decided instead to go in and sit quietly (gasp) by myself with no one else in the chapel. While sitting there I got this image of my arteries and they looked pretty clogged. I am a thirty-something who likes to run and stay fit so was surprised by this image... my physical body might be in shape but my spiritual body is on the verge. Thank you Lord for calling me out. My prayer today was Lord, unclog these arteries that are keeping me from having you flow freely throughout ALL of me.  During this time of Lent know that I will be praying that same prayer for all of you too.


 Wednesday, March 8, 2000      Ash Wednesday

Joel 2:12-18 ~ Psalm 51:3-6, 12-14, 17 ~ 2 Corinthians 5:20-6:2 ~ Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18

“Return to me with your whole heart … Rend your hearts, not your garments.”  Joel 2:12,13

Think of all the ways that we use “heart” in our speech: brave-hearted, pure-hearted, heart of hearts, had my heart set on, half-hearted, cold-hearted, wear your heart on your sleeve…  My heart – it’s all of me!  “Heart” is found frequently in the Lenten readings.  The invitation, and challenge, of Lent is presented today.  God wants me to bring my entire self to him: my thoughts, my desires, my emotions, my body, my dreams, those things that I regret, things of which I am proud.  If there is any part of my life that I have kept from God – bring that back to God.  And, don’t just bring it.  God invites me to crack open all of my life so that God can enter so to change, repair, heal and strengthen.

God, show me what parts of my heart I am withholding from you, what parts I close to your grace.  Help me, during this holy season, to return to you with my whole heart.

Prayers asked

Most of my blog posts begin with, "It's been awhile." 

As the new school year begins in our house I am making a new commitment to sharing of Dad's writings. I have many blog posts started now I just need to finish them!

But today I am here to again ask for prayers for our dear friends the Mingolelli's. We got some sad news last week that Mike will have to undergo triple bypass surgery. As you might remember Mom donated her kidney to Mike this past winter.  This was a shock to us all. Amazingly his kidney functions are better than they have ever been. Since the surgery he has been the "come back kid." Energy up, color back in his face, and even was able to just two weeks ago play 9 holes of golf.

The medical hardship this family has gone through is beyond comprehension.  But with every passing day I am truly inspired by the grace they exude and their faithfulness in times of extreme trial. Along with Mike I ask prayers for his wife Betty who was scheduled for back surgery this month and for their children Mike, Jr., Marc, and Laurie.

Mike's surgery is this morning (actually as we speak).

Thank you in advance for all your prayers!

Blessings,

Catherine (Caterina as Mr. "Mingo" always calls me)

David Thorp Memorial Lecture

I am constantly humbled by the out of the blue e-mail from someone expressing how much they loved my Dad and were touched by his ministry. I still get the, "You are David Thorp's daughter" and every time I proudly say with a big smile, 'I AM!"

So, today I humbly and proudly invite all of you to a memorial lecture in honor of my Father. This is the second year that Holy Family parish in Concord has hosted an event in honor of Dad. We are truly in awe of Ken Meltz and the parish community for putting this event together. Dad only worked for Holy Family for a year and yet this little parish has showed so much love for Dad. That love is a mutual one, for Dad loved his time working for this parish. I remember him coming home and discussing all the great things happening at the parish and sharing about all the wonderful people he worked with.

The event is this Thursday, June 6th at 7:30pm.
Below you will find info on the event. It is a free event and all are most welcome!
Looking forward to seeing many of you there!

Holy Family Parish in Concord, MA is pleased to present Reverend Frank Desiderio, CSP in a memorial lecture on June 6 at 7:30 PM in the lower level of the Holy Family Parish church in Monument Square . The lecture is in memory of David Thorp who served Holy Family parish for slightly less than a year as its first Director of Faith Formation. His untimely death two years ago touched the hearts of thousands of people locally, not only in Holy Family parish, but also throughout the Archdiocese of Boston where David labored for more thirty years in many capacities. When he died, David was the Director of the archdiocese’s Catholics Come Home Evangelization program. The ongoing success of this initiative can largely be attributed to David’s deep faith, compelling witness and extraordinary organizational skills. We are honored that David’s widow, Barbara, as well as some family members and archdiocesan colleagues will be joining us for this tribute and memorial.

Father Frank Desiderio of the Paulist Center will be showing and discussing his documentary movie The Big Question: A Film about Forgiveness. The film and discussion will be held in the lower level of the parish church in Monument Square in Concord. 

A reception will follow this talk, which is free and open to the public.

The gift of life... Prayers asked.

I don't know of two people who have influenced my life more than my parents. I don't nearly say it enough.

When you lose a parent there is this constant sense of regret... I find I constantly have the "I wish I just had one more day, one more hug, one more time to say how amazing they were, how much they did to make me a better person, to thank them, etc..." The list could go on and on.

But today I have an opportunity to share with great gratitude the gift my Mom is. For I have the opportunity to say how awe struck I am by my mother, who's selflessness inspires me daily.

Tomorrow is a big day for two families: mine and our dear friends the Mingolelli's.  My Mom will be donating her kidney to not just a man, but one of the most generous, kind, hilarious, tender men one could meet. I don't just get to say that because I have met him once her twice. I get to say that because I have grown up with this family. His daughter Laurie is like a sister to me. His family was a rock and constant source of love through my younger years and remains so dear to me and now my own children. I have been sitting here trying to explain the goodness and love this family exudes and words just don't even begin to come close.

I can't tell you how honored the Thorp family is to be able to help the Mingolelli family. My Mom and Mike Mingolelli will be in surgery first thing in the morning on March 12th.

Please pray for all, especially Barbara, Mike, the surgeons and our families. We pray that the recovery for all, especially Mike will be swift and without complication.

You all will remain in our prayers as we walk through these remaining days of Lent.

From Ashes to Fire

It has been forever... and I could spend a whole blog post just explaining why it has been so long since I last wrote or shared any of Dad's writings. But the truth is I am not sure why there has been such a lapse in posts. 

Instead I wanted to share some "notes" that Dad wrote for a talk he gave years ago. 

I read through it once already but am thinking this one needs to be read through MANY times for me to really digest it all. He gives great insight on fasting and shares words of wisdom from others on this time of Lent. 

Please know of my prayers for all those who read this blog and ask humbling that you keep my family in yours. 

From Ashes to Fire

by David M. Thorp

1.  The First Day of Lent always contains the same readings

Joel: rend your hearts not your garments

Matthew: Almsgiving, prayer, fasting

Not separate but connected

Pope Benedict XVI’s Lenten Message is supplying me with the impetus for this presentation

The theme of the letter is "He Fasted for Forty Days and Forty Nights, and Afterward He Was Hungry."

2.  Suggest Two Fastings [really abstinences, although you could make them truly a fast if God is calling you]: Food and Sound 

But before that something in general about Fasting

Our Ash Wednesday reading is the first time that Jesus spoke about fasting: 

The main focus was not to recommend: Jesus assumes that these are part of the life of his disciple:  WHEN you…

And, so, it is not also to command fasting or prayer or almsgiving

In fact, fasting is not a command in the Scriptures

His focus is motive

When people speak about fasting they can speak about the benefits and blessings that come to us

Richard Foster, “we would be tempted to believe that with a little fast we could have the world, including God, eating out of our hand.”  Celebration, 48

This would be to use a good thing to our ends and doing this is a sure sign of a false religion

Zechariah 7:5 ~ God is lamenting to his chosen but stubborn and shallow people:

“When you fasted … was it really for me that you fasted?”

Anna in Luke 2:37, that old prophetess in the Temple, is described this way:

She “worshipped [God] night and day with fasting and prayer.”

Fasting was a mode of worship

John Wesley:

“First, let [fasting] be done unto the Lord with our eyes simply fixed on Him. Let our intention herein be this, and this alone, to glorify our Father which is in heaven…”

This is what will save us from loving the blessing more than the Blesser

“True fasting, as the divine Master repeats elsewhere, is rather to do the will of the Heavenly Father, who ‘sees in secret, and will reward you’ (Mt 6,18)”  Ben XVI

Fr. Slavko Barbarić:  Fasting is an exchange

From … to

If it is not, it “only becomes an unpleasant renunciation from pleasant things.”

If it is not an exchange it is simply about death

Fasting for the sake of mortifying/for killing the flesh

And, Christianity is not about death to the flesh

If it were the Incarnation makes no sense

“Flesh” is not body in the NT but a mindset, a way of being

If it is not an exchange it easily falls into an externalism and a legalism

For me as a child it was merely external [perhaps all it could be for a child]

Fasting was an outward form

Or, it was tied to killing/death/suffering: Look at what Jesus did for you. Don’t you think you could at least …?

And, it became law

            Which has a manipulative power

            Is always looking for an escape clause: an exception

            Pepperoni pizza consumed at one minute after midnight on the Fridays of Lent

And, any externalism and legalism easily steps into a focus on the self and a judgment of others [parable of the Pharisee and tax collector]

So,

We are back to motive, interior disposition

And to exchange

What is the exchange?

Ben XVI:

Paul VI saw the need to present fasting within the call of every Christian to "no longer live for himself, but for Him who loves him and gave himself for him, he will also have to live for his brethren"

Pope John Paul II wrote that the ultimate goal of fasting is to help each one of us to make the complete gift of self to God

3.  Fasting From … Fasting for/to

(a) In a common experience: Eucharistic fast

Not as it was: midnight, three hours when the option for afternoon Masses was authorized, one hour

The thought, the intention

Fast from bread to receive the Living Bread

Fast from meat to meet the One who satisfies every hunger

(b)  From something good, fasting for something better

Genesis 1:  good, good, good

Someone who is continually going for the good, savoring the good is described as an

Aesthetic person by Kierkegaard

Problem and very great danger: never satisfied, there is never enough, there is never rest because there is always the q: is there something more, better …

(c)  From limitations to the infinite

This cannot satisfy

“Give your desires free reign, setting absolutely no limits, no boundaries to them. Listen to me: let your hearts demand the infinite, for I can tell you how to fill them. There is never one moment in which I cannot show you how to find whatever you can desire. The present moment is always overflowing with immeasurable riches, far more than you are able to hold.”

Abandonment to Divine Providence. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

(d) From grasping to receiving

From compulsions ~ I have to have when I want to have and how I want to have

From allowing the nonessentials to take precedence in our life

To receiving

            To the acknowledgment that everything is a gift; gratitude

In some ways, the original commandment was cal to fast:  You can eat of everything except the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden.

What if Eve and Adam responded to the tempter by saying: Let us first see and touch and smell and taste all the things that we can before we approach the one thing that we cannot

The tempter couldn’t have waited that long

(f) From what covers me in order to be uncovered before God so that I can be filled by and for God

Look at/consider that from which you are fasting:  Why do I like it? What does it do for me? What does it do to me? Is it a substitute? For what?  Is it a distraction? From what? Is it a “filler”? What is it filling?

Fr. Anslem Grün, OSB

Through fasting, I free myself of the encasement that has arched over my restless thoughts and feelings. In this way, everything that is within me can be revealed: my unfulfilled desires and longings, my passions, my thoughts which encircle me around, my success, my possessions … and my feelings such as anger, bitterness and sorrow. The wounds that I bury through numerous activities and by various means of self-consolation in food and drink are uncovered. Everything that is repressed comes to light. Fasting shows me who I am. It shows me where I am endangered and where I must start my battle.

What controls us will soon be revealed when we fast

We may rationalize that the anger or irritability or impatience that comes when we fast was caused by fasting

But, if we are honest, we will admit that that they were already within us and now just uncovered, revealed because we were no longer covering them with food, drink, activities

But, this is never the end

The end is the healing or the removal of these things by the Healer so that we can be filled with him

(g) From selfishness to service

If of gratitude emerges we also can be brought to a sense of stewardship

            Why did God give this gift? Any gift?

            What can I do with His gifts but “re-gift” them?

Ben XVI

…fasting is an aid to open our eyes to the situation in which so many of our brothers and sisters live. In his First Letter, Saint John admonishes: "If anyone has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need, yet shuts up his bowels of compassion from him -- how does the love of God abide in him?" (3,17). Voluntary fasting enables us to grow in the spirit of the Good Samaritan, who bends low and goes to the help of his suffering brother (cf. Encyclical Deus caritas est, 15). By freely embracing an act of self-denial for the sake of another, we make a statement that our brother or sister in need is not a stranger… From the beginning, this has been the hallmark of the Christian community, in which special collections were taken up (cf. 2 Cor 8-9; Rm 15, 25-27), the faithful being invited to give to the poor what had been set aside from their fast (Didascalia Ap., V, 20,18).

4.  Silence

Be quiet/still and know that I am God

Fasting from food is so much easier than the fast from sound

We are fidget-ers

            Physically

            Mentally

            Spiritually

And, we live in a society that values this:  multi-tasking we call it

For us noise/sound/activity has become the norm and silence, stillness, solitude has become regarded as the disturbance

Freedom from words, noise, distractions

And a freedom for Word, presence

This is not easy

Because silence can be frightening and threatening ~ at least at first and maybe for a long while

When we turn off the sound/noise, a new noise almost instantly turns on, rising from within, an interior discussion starts up and it seems to get out of hand

When the outside noise is silenced, the inside restlessness emerges

One person described it as a “chaotic tumble” of feelings and thoughts that I seem to have hidden from myself or I’ve neglected while I have been busy doing things in the outer world

Nouwen:

It makes you wonder if the diversion we look for in the many things outside us might not be an attempt to avoid a confrontation with what is inside.

Do I fill my ears, my mind with sound and sight because there is an inner emptiness, disquiet

Me and tinnitus: The radio, CD’s, TV mask the constant buzzing in my head

Lately I’ve wondered if I’m only using that as an excuse for avoiding the real buzzing in my spirit

Practice silence/solitude

~ take tiny snatches of time

            in the car

            linger over “surprises” to the eyes [a person’s face, a tree/landscape], ears [birds, laugh], nose [night air, coffee], to the mouth, to the hand

            redeem these flashes

~ find a place in your home:  quiet zone, prayer corner

~ find a regular place outside your home: here for Adoration

~ experiment with a day without words

~ Lectio divina:  more about the silence than about the words

~ A good book:  one that you will wrestle with and one that will wrestle you down

A Holy Week Pep Talk

After a bit of digging in the good ol' files I found this GEM! I know I am biased but I really feel it is a wonderful reflection to help prep us for Holy Week. Share with friends and spread along the Holy Week love! :)

Talk by David Thorp, Holy Week 1992

At each Mass in the Catholic Church, just after the bread and wine have become the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ through the action of the Holy Spirit, the whole congregation is invited to proclaim the mystery of our faith.  One of the prayers that we can say at that point is:  "Dying you destroyed our death; rising you restored our life; Lord Jesus, come in glory."

This is very powerful proclamation of the Good News of Jesus Christ, the Good News on which the Catholic Church is built, the Good News which we are called to live every day.

We are now in Holy Week, a time of the year that is holy because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  He makes this week - and every week - holy because of His life for us.

Tonight I would like to share with you some of the love of Jesus Christ for us, by reflecting on His death and resurrection.
What kind of death did Jesus destroy?  One day, I was praying the Rosary and meditating on the 5 Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary.  These mysteries remind us of the sacrifice of Jesus for each person.  As I was reflecting about the Lord's Love shown in these ways, I thought of 5 areas of life, five kinds of "death" which Jesus heals by His suffering and dying.

The first mystery is:  Jesus' Agony in the Garden.  After the Last Supper, Jesus goes with three of His disciples to the Garden of Olives.  He asks them to pray, while he goes off a little distance to pray also.  When he comes back, they are asleep.  How alone Jesus must feel!  How abandoned, even by His close friends!  How apart from others in His time of need, when He is facing something very difficult!  This is a kind of "death" - being alone, alienated from others.  Jesus knows this experience; He knows how it feels; He knows the pain that it causes us because He has experienced this pain also.  He takes this pain into His own life, so that He can redeem it.  Are you experiencing this kind of pain now?  Be assured that Jesus Christ has overcome this "death".  He can help you; He can bring you peace now in the midst of loneliness.  He can show you to a group of people - His Church, the Body of Christ - where you can experience being with others, supported by them, loved by them in the Name of Jesus.

The second mystery is:  The Scourging at the Pillar.  Jesus is arrested and put on trial.  After the trial, Pilate orders that Jesus be whipped.  This is a scene filled with pain.  The instrument for the whipping is not a smooth one, but a rugged leather strap into which are sown pieces of metal and bone to dig into the flesh of the person who is whipped and rip the flesh from the body.  Jesus suffered great physical pain!  He took into His life this pain, offering it as every moment of His life to the Father so that it would be redeemed.  Many of us have suffered physical pain; Jesus know what we are experiencing.  He has overcome the power of this pain and invites us to join our pain to His, so that we would not be overcome by the pain.  He invites us to offer our pain to Him, so that He can lift us from it or give us the strength to endure it.

The third mystery is:  The Crowning with Thorns.  When I was meditating on this part of our Lord's suffering, I thought of the head.  It was on His head that this crown was placed.  The head can be seen as the symbol of our mind, our thoughts, our psychological life.  Some of us are confused in our thinking, some of us are suffering emotionally.  Jesus is the victor over these kinds of "death" also.  He has come that our minds may be clear, our emotions clear, our thinking clear.  Jesus is the answer, because He has overcome this death, to the problems of our mind.

The fourth mystery:  Jesus Carries His Cross.  The cross is placed on Jesus.  Others forced it upon Him.  The cross is something that He bears because of the plotting of others.  The cross is a symbol of oppression and persecution.  Jesus knows what it is like to have others plot against Him.  Jesus knows what it means to be oppressed, to be a victim.  Do you feel that others have made you a victim, that you have been unfairly treated, that you are persecuted - by the words and the actions of others?  Know that Jesus has experienced the same, but He has overcome the power of persecution and makes that power available to you, by His Holy Spirit, by His Holy Word, by His Sacraments -especially the Eucharist.
The fifth mystery:  Jesus Dies of the Cross.  When I thought about this event in Jesus' life, I thought of His death as the summary of all evil.  Thoughts, words, actions, neglect, persecution, physical, mental pain:  all of it.  Jesus did not stop short; Jesus did not bear part of the pain.  Jesus experienced the total pain.  Stretched on the cross, between heaven and earth:  He said "yes" to every rejection that we faced.

But, the cross was not the victory for the enemies of God.  It was the beginning of the victory of God.  By His stripes we are healed:  Isaiah tells us this.  By His dying and rising we are caught up - in Jesus Christ - into a whole new way of life.
Michel Quoist writes:  Jesus "Grasped (arms aching with stretch marks) all the members of his Body and the universe, their sins and their suffering and their death, and with one great cry, he gave it all to the Father."

The Cross is not the Father's final word.  Good Friday is real.  Maybe it feels very real to you right now.  Christ has died, and maybe we feel we are dying with Him.  But Easter Sunday is God's Word.  Christ is risen, and God's desire is that we rise with Him to new life, to new hope, to new joy, to new faith, to new love!

Jesus Christ takes all death into His life.  He knows your dying.  He wants all of to be nailed on the cross with Him.  He wants you to experience the new life of His resurrection.  It is all there for YOU!  For each one of YOU!  There is NO ONE whom Jesus will forget or neglect,  their is NO ONE'S pain, hurt and sorrow that Jesus will not bring to the cross.  There is NO ONE whom Jesus does not want to experience the New Life of the Resurrection.

EVERYONE!  That's who Jesus loves!  That's who Jesus dies for!  That's who Jesus was raised from the dead for!  EVERYONE!

What do I need to do?  This week, join yourself and all your pain - being alone, being neglected, being afraid, suffering because of illness to the body or the mind, being persecuted, being so ill that you or a family member may be dying - to Jesus Christ!  Give it to Him, so that you can know that Jesus offers it to the Father in a great act of love.  Join yourself to Jesus.  Apart from Him, there is no lasting peace, no lasting hope, no eternal life, no unending joy.  When you give yourself to
Jesus, you can know real peace, real life, real joy, real resurrection.

A final word:  I called a friend one day, but he wasn't in.  So, his answering machine came on and asked me to leave a message.  At the end of the tape were these words:  "Remember, if you were the only person on earth, Jesus Christ would have done it all just for you."  Brothers and sisters, I want you to know that love, I want you to know that today, Jesus is willing to bear it all for you.  Come to Jesus today.  Come to Jesus in a new way during this Holy Week.  Go to Church this week, to hear the words of God proclaimed, to hear of God's infinite love coming to you through Jesus Christ.

A Blessed Easter!  Live in the new life that is possible only in Jesus Christ, your Savior!

Holy Week Begins

I think you have probably realized that this blog, even with all the best intentions in the world, is never going to be a very consistent one! I think I am at peace with that now and hope you can learn to live with my not so constant blog posts.

Yesterday at Mass it really dawned on me when I grabbed the Magnificat for April 2012 instead of the supplementary one for Holy Week, that in fact Holy Week is here.  I thought to myself, "man, I got to get my head on straight and really be more present."

As I stood and listened to the readings and the long Gospel of Christ's passion and death this word kept popping into my head: UNCOMFORTABLE.  I looked around as people were squirming, yawning, kids going on their twelfth bathroom run, a teenager starting to put his behind down on the seat and his father yanking him up by the arm to keep standing and this was all during the Gospel! I thought, "man, we are a sorry bunch" (myself included).

I thought to myself, as I was trying to remain focused, "Was it comfortable when Jesus was lashed over and over again by a whip, or crowned with thorns, or made His way along a dirt road with massive pieces of wood on His shoulders, spat on, humiliated, and then nailed to a cross?"  Now I am no, "fire and brimstone" type but I think, I speak for only myself in this, that we don't like to think of the grim reality of what happened to Jesus on his final days because sometimes the thought of it can be well, "uncomfortable."  To think of what one man endured out of PURE and EVERLASTING LOVE to ensure our own salvation can be too much to bear.  And here I am wondering if the priest is going to have a lengthy homily or going to cut it short because we had the long Gospel.

Why can't I take the self-inflicted discomfort that I feel during my bootcamp style workout class on Monday's with the instructor yelling after the third time through the circuit, "it should be feeling really uncomfortable right now but dig deep and get through it" and bring that perseverance into my spiritual life?

The Closing hymn at mass was appropriately, "Jesus remember me."  I laid all my worries at His feet during that moment and continue to lay all my discomfort, anxiety, and struggles at His feet and ask that He remember me -- that all my brokenness will be made new by the sacrifices the Lord made for all of us.

I pray that you are able to "dig deep" during these last few days and lay it all before Him as He did for us and trust as a sister in Christ I will be doing the same.